There is a common misconception that many women believe. Today, I’m going to debunk this misconception and give you a different way to approach the situation.

Society thinks that if you want to change something in your life then you have to be upset, frustrated, or annoyed with yourself in order for you to be motivated to make the change. However, the opposite is true. 

Let me explain. Let’s say that I have a counter in my kitchen that I want to declutter and it’s been needing my attention for three weeks. The natural tendency is to say to myself, “seriously? You can’t even keep the kitchen tidy? This is kind of pathetic that you’ve let this pile stay here for so long. I mean, it’s not really that hard to put a few papers away.” But when I talk to myself this way I feel discouraged. And when I feel discouraged I want to eat a treat, jump on social media or turn on Netflix. All of which are not going to get me to clean the counter.

But here is a different approach. When I see the clutter on the kitchen counter, if I get curious then it gives me the space to really solve the problem. I then think to myself, “I wonder why I haven’t made tidying up the counter a priority? What else have I been doing? Do I want to make it a priority? It will only take me 10 minutes to put all of that stuff away. I don’t have time right now, but I will do it today before I make dinner.” This line of thinking leaves me feeling compassionate and determined, both emotions that will put me into the action of cleaning the kitchen counter off. 

I have found that with any situation that I want to change in my life if I come at it from a place of curiosity and non-judgment then I am able to take control of the situation and do the actions necessary to change it. 

The negative self-talk that moms often find themselves engaging in is not the way to make lasting changes in your life. Number one, it’s not kind. Your brain can’t take the mental abuse. It will want to escape the abuse with anything from alcohol, drugs, social media, binge-watching tv, and eating foods that don’t healthily fuel your body. Number two, your emotions fuel your actions so you need to generate the emotions that will propel you forward instead of keeping you stuck.

Be kind to yourself mama. Love yourself where you are and then make the changes in your life that you want to.

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